| killa weed |
[07 Feb 2007|10:41pm] |
Feeling particularly listless lately. everything is dead. outside. And I can't handle it anymore
oh summer, where are you? I never even bought a winter coat!
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| i hate winter but |
[12 Oct 2006|08:27pm] |
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its snowing and thundering outside and i dont think ive ever loved snow as much as i do now.
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[11 Oct 2006|02:23am] |
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krs-one in a jeep commercial??
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| : ( |
[05 Oct 2006|08:48pm] |
I need helppp. I need a direction in life right now goddamnit. ms St. George reviewed my portfolio today (clare why wern't you on the bus when i had to carry that huge thing home and it was embarressing?) and she seems to think i will have no trouble getting into parsons or pratt which is funny because heh. I DONT! and im not even saying that so I can sound humble and people will be like "ohh yess you can you really can" I honestly can't see myself getting in. And even if i do, what if I go and its a huge mistake, and i'm surrounded by bitchy art people who are mean and pretentious and i am stuck in the middle of nyc staying up all night crying and eating cheetos?? what if i go and i hate all the classes? what if i get lost and im stuck alone on the lower east side of matthatten at 2 in the morning? what if what if, what if?? Is applying to art school a bad idea? But im not good at anything else and I dont want a boring job. AHHHH!
On the upside, i found a nice brown pen in the computer lab today. but then i forgot and left it there.
Oh, and my cat has been missing for two days and shes not even supposed to go outside anymore. What if she ran away? Ohh how it would leave a hole in my heart previously filled with kitten love.
Im not a bad owner, I swear. I fed her everyday.I loved her everyday!
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[28 Sep 2006|06:03pm] |
everyone needs to update their journal more because i know im not the only loser online all the time. come on guys, lets get serious.
so you know in movies when the main character is sitting still while everone else around them is moving really fast? I had a dream like that last night, it was cool and it makes sense because thats kind if how I feel right now, actually not even right now but most of the time.
magazine assembly tommorrow. im not pumped. woohoo we get to make ourselves look stupid in the senior skit..
oh
someone needs to keep reminding me that i bought a polaroid camera because polaroids are the shit but i keep forgetting to take any because im scared of wasting $ on the film\
ok bye
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| makes me wanna cry |
[23 Sep 2006|03:59pm] |
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music |
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Broken Social Scene - Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl |
] |
used to be one of the rotten ones and i liked you for that
now you're all gone got your makeup on and you're not coming back.
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| dane cook |
[21 Sep 2006|06:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 exanimate |
] |
please tell me im not the only one who thinks that dane cook is fugly as hell, and him and jessica simson need to get their faces off of my homepage before i have nightmares
this week went by so so fast and i have done absolutely nothing productive
i need to draw until i can produce something worthy of a second glance. because i've come to the conclusion that if i don't go to art school, even that art school that's advertised on tv, i pretty much have no hope of a productive future.
i'm not good at anything, and this is what i'm the most decent at. which is sad and pathetic, but it's true.
what it comes down to is that i'm good at being lazy, reading books, and procrastinating.
woohoo.
maybe one day, if i push myself to the very edge of my limits, i'll be good at art.
hope hope hope.
but dont hold your breath...
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| give me that fucking top betch |
[18 Sep 2006|11:31pm] |
ive allready been to heaven ive allready been to heaven ive allready been to heaven after five minutes i was like lets GO
ok i dont usually watch new tv shows because they all suck but today in a desperate attempt to further my procrastination i turned on abc's wife swap and it was everything i could have asked for in a reality tv show and MORE. And while that might be exaggerating, it really was very interesting. OK The basic concept of the show is they take two completely opposite families and have the wives go to live for the other family for two weeks or a month or something i dunno. Anyways for the first week or so the new wives have to live by the families rules but then she gets to make them live by her rules and what follows is an extremely entertaining war between the wives and their new family. In the episode i watched they switched a pirate family (which is cool enough in its own right) with some scary subarban family and had their uptight anal bitch mother (who carried about a lable maker around with her so she could lable people with things such a "pottie mouth" and have them sit in a tuppaware storage bin for two hours) come live with them. ohhhhhh man i swear that should have a college course on that show.
anways. its not summer anymore and im back at school and its terrifying. I feel like im waiting for something big to happen but i dont know why i think that or what i should be waiting for.. and im not talking about going to college because thats still too hard for me to comprehend at this point.
and i want to talk. and talk and talk and talk but i am bad at it.
and
i better have a fucking dance party soon
oh and 500 points to anyone who knows what my icon is from (not you anna cause i know you allready know)
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| r u forrealz?? |
[08 Sep 2006|07:06pm] |
Gothic (or Goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counseling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:
-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick, or nail polish.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music.
(Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.(technically)
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contain violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a Goth".
-Claims to be a Goth.
if five or more of these apply to your child please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~St. Mary's Catholic Church
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| doooooooooooooood |
[11 Aug 2006|01:55am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
] |
eww i feel like such a cliche right now. i went to thios party tonight and it was pretty ok. i saw some cool people that i dont get to see very much so that was just niftty.
ive been doing pushups lately and now my arms are really freakimg buff. i could probably kick your ass which is great considering i hate so many people. ok that is all. peace.
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| shitgoddamn |
[07 Aug 2006|08:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
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music |
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against me! - slurring the rythms |
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People amaze me with how fake they are. it's like a contest to out-fake your opponent. I'm not really talking about anything in particular, I was just thinking.. mmmm yeah nevermind.
Guess what? I found this picture of me as a child and I look asian, it even looks like i'm dressed like a harajuku girl. Im wearing this sweet 90s sweater thing with big flowers on it and I even have a lacy umbrella. ok, that wasnt very interesting was it? Well it was the highlight of my day so far. This weekend was actually pretty fun though. i've come to the conclusion that if I were an alcoholic it would be alot easier for me to make friends. Not alcoholic in the sense of slutty party girl, but in the sense of like an eccentric writer or something. unfortunately im not eccentric or a writer.
I wish I was though, kind of like charlie from the perks of being a wallflower, but a female version. Do people like that even exist in real life?
My mom just basically told me that I am lazy and not good enough at anything to get into college. Whatever, fuck her opinion. I wish that someone would tell her that im very talented, and that shes very lucky to have a child like me. Id feel great.
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| all the things she said all the things she said |
[04 Aug 2006|04:27pm] |
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mood |
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 weird |
] |
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music |
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that tatu song |
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um,well anyways
This livejournal thing is weird because I dont think there are more than two people at the most who read it. And If there are than I dont know about it. Who else do I know that has a livejournal? anyone?
so at art class no one talks to me. But thats ok I guess because I just listen to my ipod, and the class is 4 hours but it goes by pretty fast.
Yesterday I had a job interview and i think that I got the job at Tony Walker so thats good I guess, Also, I went to the violent femmes concert and I had a lot of fun (i dont remember why) they stayed true to how they sounded on the cd except even better and they really did live up to my anticipation of seeing them.
I read this article the other day which was both fascinating and terrifying. If you want to have a nightmare you should check out carl panzram
oh yeah, and today is Danas birthday but I didnt get her anything and I called her but she didnt pick up, I feel bad about that
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| to be famous is so niiiiiice |
[14 Mar 2006|11:32pm] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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music |
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Devotchka-how it ends |
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Irony was the overruling theme for today.
I really thought today was going to suck..and then, well, it did.
In math Nikki told me that in 10 years i'd be sniffing coke with Kate Moss. frankly, I was flattered.
Then in AP U.S. I slipped on a bananna peel.
yeah...
I think the weather has a serious case of ADD. Two days ago: 60 degrees and sushine, yesterday: pouring rain and thunder, today: bizzard!
Anyways, so then after school I got in a giant, profanity filled fight with my mom, which is rare (the use of profanities, not the fighting) and theeen I spent the time I should have used for homework trying out some new drawing styles and I actually ended up making some pretty badass stuff. So I'm pretty happy about that I guess, not that it matters because i'm still not good enough to get into any good school for art. sigh. I dont know if I should even bother trying pursue that sort of stuff as an option for the future. I'm a very confused person
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| uuggghhhghhh |
[07 Mar 2006|07:06pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
] |
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music |
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caribou - crayon |
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today..mm...i dunno
i forgot what i wanted to write.
Something about this week so far has felt slightly off.. I feel sort of surreal right now, like, i don't really remember anything that I said or that happened at school today. That can't be good.
I read this thing in the newspaper about a woman who took a picture of herself and whatever she was doing on the 14th minute of every hour of every day of her life for year, and then displayed all the pictures as a work of art. That would really be very interesting and benificial thing for everyone to do, I think
oh, i remember something. Today this random boy sincerely told me that I looked great today. It was nice.
alright.
alright.
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| yearbookyearbookyearbook |
[05 Mar 2006|08:41pm] |
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mood |
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 restless |
] |
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music |
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oh brother where art thou |
] |
today was a blur of caffine, tif. files, rollie chairs, frozen computer screens, and tortilla chips. Why Mrs. St George would voluntarily take charge of this whole fiasco is beyond me. In other news, I have one lj friend. cool!
I feel excited and depressed at the same time, but that has nothing to do with anything. I dont even know why I would say that or feel that way.
weird.
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[05 Mar 2006|12:08am] |
I figured its probably sick to let all the thoughts in my head only live up there so I made a livejournal. I hope people will read this but never talk to me about it in real life cause that will be akward.
Today was weird. I had such a strange night, not necessarily bad but right now I just want to be alone, I dont want to talk to or look at anybody.
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